An evil plan

In his dark and sinister cellar, the evil Peter M. sits, working on his cruel plans.

PM: "My attempts to drive the students insane have all failed! They have made it through all the lectures in spite of the evil and mad theories I have so cunningly placed in them. Annoying little mentally stable bastards! What is an aspiring supervillain to do?!"

Peter M. jumps up in frustration, walks in hexagons (simple circles won't do it for an aspiring supervillain), and finally socially constructs a small polar fox to calm himself down.

PM: "I must make a new superplan. The master of all evil plans. And I have one final chance: The exam. But the students have shown their ability to tolerate mad theories - what else can I do to drive them insane?"

The polar fox: "Ahem! Excuse me, my Lord!"

PM: "Who are you now? What do you want?"

Fox: "I am - very humbly, may I add - the insignificant little creature you so splendidly constructed socially."

PM: "Huh? Oh, right, you. I forgot to replace you with a new discourse like I normally do with my social constructs to prevent them from bothering me afterwards. I must have been too preoccupied with my frustrations. But as you're already here annoying me, tell me what in the holy name of Postmodernism you want to say!"

Fox: "I was only going to suggest to you, oh great Social Constructor, that you might try to give the students an exam question which they will never be able to answer in a satisfactory way within the limits given. I make this suggestion with the utmost admiration of your efforts so far, of course, and in the knowledge that of course you must already have thought of it yourself and merely need to be reminded."

PM: "Why of course, that was just what I was thinking. I would have remembered it if you hadn't started interrupting my thoughts, you know..."

Fox: "My humble apologies, oh the most facilitating of all facilitators".

PM: "Quiet!"

Peter M. starts writing down six simple questions.

PM: "There now. Six questions, and with only 14.4 pages to answer them in, at most. That must be impossible."

Fox: "You might also make them ambiguous and hard to understand so that they will never know exactly what it is you wish from them - which, of course, you were already about to do, oh Master of the domain of reflection."

PM: "Why of course, you pestering little rat!"

Peter M. makes the questions ambiguous and hard to understand.

PM: "There now. I feel much better now".

He jumps up, this time from sheer joy, and starts a discourse that views the polar fox as a ham and cheese sandwich which he then eats.

Writing

This post is not going to be any fun at all, I warn you. It is, however, going to have meta-quality. That is, the quality of being on a meta-level, not some kind of meta-quality that judges the quality of quality. I'm quite sure its quality has no quality at all. However, it is going to contain meta-writing, i.e. writing about writing.

I'm writing a paper on a consultative approach to marginalisation in schools. If it sounds boring, that's because it is. If it doesn't, well then it's deceptive and evil as well as boring. And I'm stuck on it. I know approximately what I want to write, but it's too vague and I can't quite put it in the right words. Actually, I'm not sure it even is vague, I just can't get my ideas to do the metamorphosis into nice little sentences - or evil and nasty little sentences for that matter. I feel like someone stuffed my head with wool.

So what better thing to do to than go here and write about it? Funnily, writing about it is no problem at all, in fact I'm enjoying it in spite of the less than mesmerising subject. Maybe it's just because I get to talk about myself. And complain.

I need to get more readers for this so I can get my complaining spread to a wider audience. Just one person so far is very little. And until I get myself some non-Danish readers, writing in English also seems rather pointless. Not that I don't like pointlessness...hmmm. Hermed en dansk sætning, som så kan være meningsløs for i hvert fald visse læsere, når jeg får fat i de udenlandske. Bare fordi.

The subject of writing seems to have been emptied by now, so I'll try to go away from here and do something useful. More to follow in a few days or so - hopefully, by then I'll have something to say which isn't complaining.

Starting over

This is the very first post of a completely new blog. I had another one - well technically I still have it - but it seemed too related to old stuff I finally broke free of to make me want to continue it. Hence this new one. Which in fact isn't very new, as I created it quite a while ago, but never got around to using it after all. But making a third one just to make a point of starting over seemed rather silly - which would be a perfectly good reason to do it except for the fact that it would also mean a bit of extra work, and we really can't have that!

So, a new start is the theme of this post. Luckily starting over is something I feel like I've been doing lately in more ways than just starting this new blog, so I won't be forced to have an entirely self-referential first post. Not that self-reference isn't amazingly cool, of course.

Anyway, I was going to write about why I feel like I'm starting over. In December I finally put an end to the withering remains of a fairly unhealthy relationship that officially ended 2 years ago. It turned out to be a relief more than anything else which led to a lot of thoughts about why I had hung on to it when my actual feelings for the man in question appeared to have gone a while before I actually put an end to it. I concluded that it had a lot to do with some of my own issues, and as a result, I have actually worked on those.

And last, but not least, it seems that the universe actually rewards people for this kind of personal growth, because I have actually got a new boyfriend now. This time someone who is both appropriate, nice and capable of doing his share in taking care of the relationship. It's all very new, but already I'm noticing how completely normal and sensible I am compared to how I was in my last relationship. I used to think I wasn't very good at it either then, and now I'm suddenly realising that I wasn't that bad. I just got that idea from judging myself based on my behaviour when I was put in a very awkward situation and forced to give a lot more than I got back.

So, here I am, in happier and more healthy circumstances, and with a more realistic and more positive view of my own ressources. That deserves a new blog.

That was a fairly serious first post. You should not, however, conclude from that fact that future posts will be equally serious. Most likely they'll consist mostly of silly nonsense. All I can promise is that they'll be filled with my strange thoughts about things, my strange thoughts about my strange thoughts about things, my strange thoughts about my strange thoughts about my strange thoughts about things, and so on. Hence the name "metamentalisations", although I can't promise to be on the meta-level at all times. Mentalisation, incidentally, is a psychological term meaning "to think about/understand yourself and others in terms of mental states". So you could say that mentalisation already implies a meta-level of thoughts, and that I have thus indicated a meta-meta-level with my title. Again, I doubt I'll be on that level always, but knowing me, I'll certainly get there at times. And if not, you, the reader, can always mentalise a bit about why, and add a new meta-level that way, and all will be good (there's nothing like being able to put the responsibility upon the readers!).

Without further ado then, I shall press "publish", and launch this new blog!