Starting over

This is the very first post of a completely new blog. I had another one - well technically I still have it - but it seemed too related to old stuff I finally broke free of to make me want to continue it. Hence this new one. Which in fact isn't very new, as I created it quite a while ago, but never got around to using it after all. But making a third one just to make a point of starting over seemed rather silly - which would be a perfectly good reason to do it except for the fact that it would also mean a bit of extra work, and we really can't have that!

So, a new start is the theme of this post. Luckily starting over is something I feel like I've been doing lately in more ways than just starting this new blog, so I won't be forced to have an entirely self-referential first post. Not that self-reference isn't amazingly cool, of course.

Anyway, I was going to write about why I feel like I'm starting over. In December I finally put an end to the withering remains of a fairly unhealthy relationship that officially ended 2 years ago. It turned out to be a relief more than anything else which led to a lot of thoughts about why I had hung on to it when my actual feelings for the man in question appeared to have gone a while before I actually put an end to it. I concluded that it had a lot to do with some of my own issues, and as a result, I have actually worked on those.

And last, but not least, it seems that the universe actually rewards people for this kind of personal growth, because I have actually got a new boyfriend now. This time someone who is both appropriate, nice and capable of doing his share in taking care of the relationship. It's all very new, but already I'm noticing how completely normal and sensible I am compared to how I was in my last relationship. I used to think I wasn't very good at it either then, and now I'm suddenly realising that I wasn't that bad. I just got that idea from judging myself based on my behaviour when I was put in a very awkward situation and forced to give a lot more than I got back.

So, here I am, in happier and more healthy circumstances, and with a more realistic and more positive view of my own ressources. That deserves a new blog.

That was a fairly serious first post. You should not, however, conclude from that fact that future posts will be equally serious. Most likely they'll consist mostly of silly nonsense. All I can promise is that they'll be filled with my strange thoughts about things, my strange thoughts about my strange thoughts about things, my strange thoughts about my strange thoughts about my strange thoughts about things, and so on. Hence the name "metamentalisations", although I can't promise to be on the meta-level at all times. Mentalisation, incidentally, is a psychological term meaning "to think about/understand yourself and others in terms of mental states". So you could say that mentalisation already implies a meta-level of thoughts, and that I have thus indicated a meta-meta-level with my title. Again, I doubt I'll be on that level always, but knowing me, I'll certainly get there at times. And if not, you, the reader, can always mentalise a bit about why, and add a new meta-level that way, and all will be good (there's nothing like being able to put the responsibility upon the readers!).

Without further ado then, I shall press "publish", and launch this new blog!