A deserted cellar, once dark, but now flooded with sunlight through a big man shaped hole in the upper wall and ceiling. A polar fox sits on the floor, looking very confused.
Polar fox: "What's happened? Where am I? Who am I?!
It pauses to think.
Fox: "Or should I say "what am I?"? I have the oddest feeling that until recently I was some kind of sandwich. But sandwiches don't have fur, do they? At least not the kind you wish to eat. And somehow I recall being eaten. This is all very confusing. My poor ham - I mean head! Perhaps I need some fresh air."
The polar fox jumps onto a table and then out through the man shaped hole. It falls over as it lands and tumbles around in the long grass outside. As it looks around it sees that it is in a clearing in a forest, just outside a very old house.
Fox: "A very odd shaped hole now I think of it. I wonder where that came from. Oh, I do wish my memory wasn't so blank. All I recall is being eaten. No, wait, something else too. All that tumbling around reminds me of something. I've done that before, and I think it's somehow connected to the whole being eaten thing - My goodness! Someone ate me and then threw me up! Yes, I'm sure of it now. How utterly horrible. But I don't remember who. Or what happened before I got eaten. If only I knew who made that hole I might be wiser."
Suddenly an okapi walks into the clearing and sees the polar fox.
Okapi: "A polar fox?! Well, well, well, I sure haven't seen you around before. Who are you?"
Fox: "Sadly, I have yet to discover that myself. All I know is that I have been eaten and thrown up, and that I think I might have been a sandwich until very recently. But you called me something yourself, didn't you, and it seemed to stir something inside my ham - my head, inside my head, yes. Could you repeat it?"
Okapi: "I called you a polar fox, old chap, and that's what you are! Congratulations on being such a fine furry fellow! Doesn't really answer WHO you are, though, now does it? And all the stuff about being eaten, well, I'm afraid it sounds just a little farfetched to me. Unless of course you were in league with that evil social structuralist who used to live here. He fled right through that wall a few weeks ago, left a big hole and all!"
Fox: "Oh my! It all comes back to me now! He was my master, I loved him more than anything, and helped him make a plan to drive his students insane - he took all the credit for it, by the way! And he betrayed me - he started a discourse where I was seen as a ham sandwich, and then he ate me. And later he threw me up again, yes, that must have been him, though I didn't know it at the time, being a ham sandwich, you see. He ate me! His most devoted little creation (yes, he did construct me himself - socially, you know! Brilliant thing to be able to do, really!) - and he turned me into a sandwich and ate me! I must have only turned back into a polar fox because he fled and there was nobody else to carry on the discourse in which I was a ham sandwich. But oh, my master was evil, and he betrayed me, and ate me, oh the agony of this!"
The polar fox starts sobbing uncontrollably, and the okapi moves closer and pats it on the head.
Okapi: "Easy now, mate, easy. You got away didn't you? He probably felt sick when he found out his plan didn't work, and that's why he threw you up again. Yeah, it failed, you know - I'm sure your idea was brilliant, but he probably didn't manage to carry it out properly, see? So he got so mad he almost choked, felt sick and puked you right up, and then fled for good, without even taking the time to go through the door. And the forest is a a much nicer place now, if you ask me!"
Fox: "Bu-bu-but st-still, *sniff*. He made me, you know. Rather splendidly too, I have to admit. How can I live with that?? How?!"
Okapi: "Well, see now, I can solve that little problem for you just like that! See, he may have made you up, but he only acted as a tool, you know what I mean? See, there's this girl, you know, and we're really just characters in her blog. So was he as a matter of fact, although he was powerful in his own right too. So really, she's the true creator of you. So nothing to worry about!"
Fox: "But isn't that bad, to exist only in someone's blog?"
Okapi: "Not at all, my furry little friend, not at all! As long as it's a nice home, who cares? And it is, you know. We have this nice forest to live in, plenty of food, a few bad things now and then, but mostly it just adds some sense of adventure. And we get regular excercise too - when she doesn't know what to write, she'll just let us do all sorts of silly things. It's really cool, really!"
Fox: "Well, in that case, why don't you show me around a bit?"
Okapi: "Alright. I don't think she can think of anything more to write about us anyway."
The polar fox and the okapi walk out of the clearing together.
Polar fox: "What's happened? Where am I? Who am I?!
It pauses to think.
Fox: "Or should I say "what am I?"? I have the oddest feeling that until recently I was some kind of sandwich. But sandwiches don't have fur, do they? At least not the kind you wish to eat. And somehow I recall being eaten. This is all very confusing. My poor ham - I mean head! Perhaps I need some fresh air."
The polar fox jumps onto a table and then out through the man shaped hole. It falls over as it lands and tumbles around in the long grass outside. As it looks around it sees that it is in a clearing in a forest, just outside a very old house.
Fox: "A very odd shaped hole now I think of it. I wonder where that came from. Oh, I do wish my memory wasn't so blank. All I recall is being eaten. No, wait, something else too. All that tumbling around reminds me of something. I've done that before, and I think it's somehow connected to the whole being eaten thing - My goodness! Someone ate me and then threw me up! Yes, I'm sure of it now. How utterly horrible. But I don't remember who. Or what happened before I got eaten. If only I knew who made that hole I might be wiser."
Suddenly an okapi walks into the clearing and sees the polar fox.
Okapi: "A polar fox?! Well, well, well, I sure haven't seen you around before. Who are you?"
Fox: "Sadly, I have yet to discover that myself. All I know is that I have been eaten and thrown up, and that I think I might have been a sandwich until very recently. But you called me something yourself, didn't you, and it seemed to stir something inside my ham - my head, inside my head, yes. Could you repeat it?"
Okapi: "I called you a polar fox, old chap, and that's what you are! Congratulations on being such a fine furry fellow! Doesn't really answer WHO you are, though, now does it? And all the stuff about being eaten, well, I'm afraid it sounds just a little farfetched to me. Unless of course you were in league with that evil social structuralist who used to live here. He fled right through that wall a few weeks ago, left a big hole and all!"
Fox: "Oh my! It all comes back to me now! He was my master, I loved him more than anything, and helped him make a plan to drive his students insane - he took all the credit for it, by the way! And he betrayed me - he started a discourse where I was seen as a ham sandwich, and then he ate me. And later he threw me up again, yes, that must have been him, though I didn't know it at the time, being a ham sandwich, you see. He ate me! His most devoted little creation (yes, he did construct me himself - socially, you know! Brilliant thing to be able to do, really!) - and he turned me into a sandwich and ate me! I must have only turned back into a polar fox because he fled and there was nobody else to carry on the discourse in which I was a ham sandwich. But oh, my master was evil, and he betrayed me, and ate me, oh the agony of this!"
The polar fox starts sobbing uncontrollably, and the okapi moves closer and pats it on the head.
Okapi: "Easy now, mate, easy. You got away didn't you? He probably felt sick when he found out his plan didn't work, and that's why he threw you up again. Yeah, it failed, you know - I'm sure your idea was brilliant, but he probably didn't manage to carry it out properly, see? So he got so mad he almost choked, felt sick and puked you right up, and then fled for good, without even taking the time to go through the door. And the forest is a a much nicer place now, if you ask me!"
Fox: "Bu-bu-but st-still, *sniff*. He made me, you know. Rather splendidly too, I have to admit. How can I live with that?? How?!"
Okapi: "Well, see now, I can solve that little problem for you just like that! See, he may have made you up, but he only acted as a tool, you know what I mean? See, there's this girl, you know, and we're really just characters in her blog. So was he as a matter of fact, although he was powerful in his own right too. So really, she's the true creator of you. So nothing to worry about!"
Fox: "But isn't that bad, to exist only in someone's blog?"
Okapi: "Not at all, my furry little friend, not at all! As long as it's a nice home, who cares? And it is, you know. We have this nice forest to live in, plenty of food, a few bad things now and then, but mostly it just adds some sense of adventure. And we get regular excercise too - when she doesn't know what to write, she'll just let us do all sorts of silly things. It's really cool, really!"
Fox: "Well, in that case, why don't you show me around a bit?"
Okapi: "Alright. I don't think she can think of anything more to write about us anyway."
The polar fox and the okapi walk out of the clearing together.
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